My new friends, the deer.

First, I need to get something off my chest. I have been having somewhat regular irregular heartbeats tonight. I haven’t had them in a while. These are strong enough that I feel them. They used to panic me. I am not worried (much) because if they had been bad enough for long enough my device would have delivered “therapy.” I am relatively sure that I didn’t receive any shock therapy.

Now, back to my regularly scheduled insanity…

I have had a couple of visitors the last couple of days. My visitors have not been of the human variety but the critter type, a pair of deer to be more specific. I first noticed them yesterday while outside for a “breath of fresh air.” They were close. I sat there and smoked my cigarette and they didn’t run off. I summoned my brother and he came out and observed them as well. When they didn’t run off I decided I wanted to get a closer look.

I approached the deer, slowly and quietly at first, hoping not to startle them. I stepped on some twigs and they cracked loudly. The deer did not move. They looked directly at me but did not move. One of them returned to grazing and the other stared at me. I continued approaching them. When I finally stopped I was no more than 10 feet away from them. It was very cool. I remember thinking how these deer were stupid. They should be scared of people and should run because people will hurt them.

The deer were back this morning. I sat on my front step and watched them for a bit before getting about my morning activities. I spotted them again in the early afternoon. They were surrounded by geese this time but grazing again. Maybe they like my grass. Tonight they returned. I thought this to be very odd but still cool.

I decided my new friends, the deer, deserved a Facebook status. I wrote about them not being spooked by me and didn’t think much of it. A friend commented about Native American animal totems and that deer were symbolic of starting a new adventure.

I have to admit I know nothing about Native American culture or tradition. Anyone that knows me will know that I immediately started researching it to see what I could learn. I learned about the Native American zodiac, animal totems, messenger totems and so much more.

I learned that, as my friend stated, messenger totems should not be ignored. The deer are here to send me a message, according to Native American beliefs. Deer can represent compassion, peace, intellect, gentle, caring, kind, subtlety, gracefulness, femininity, gentleness, innocence, and seller of adventure.

The fact that the deer keep appearing and are not scared of me is intriguing. Part of me pictures those videos on YouTube where you see people attacked by wild animals. I keep waiting for the deer to decide they want a piece of me and charging. Death by hoof doesn’t seem very pleasant. The deer are peaceful visitors and I enjoy having them here. I hope they are there in the morning. I’d love for my kid to see them too.

I looked deeper into totems and learned that in the Native American zodiac, my birth totem is the snake. There is a lot of information to read about birth totems and I read with deep interest as I discovered that the information almost seemed to fit me perfectly.

Below is the information I found, copied from another website.

Native American Astrology - Birth Totem Snake

• Birth and animal totem: Snake (October 23rd - November 22nd).
• Moon: Cold winds moon.
• Season Aspect: The frosting time.
• Wind Relation: West winds.
• Directional Relation: West.
• Element Relation: Water.
• Elemental clan: Frog Clan.
• Plant totem: Mums.
• Mineral totem: Amethyst.
• Color Aspect: Lavender.
• Personality: Impulsive, ambitious.
• Spiritual energy: Masculine energy.
• Emotions: Hidden, keeping things inside.
• Positive traits: Discerning and imaginative.
• Negative traits: Stubborn, mistrustful, often stubborn.
• Conscious Desire: Acceptance.
• Subconscious desire: Spiritual balance.
• Spiritual Path: Expressing inner intuition.
• Strengths: Creativity, ability to change and sensitive to others.
• Weakness: Egotistical, often aloof and distant.
• Keywords: Intense, Regenerative, Penetrating, Passionate, Scornful.

Birth totem snake is an individual whose outer personality is driven by desires of both the physical body and the emotional heart. In nature, the snake is in a constant state of transformation, regeneration and renewal as he sheds his old skin, revealing a healthy, new skin to begin the next cycle of his life. Like their birth totem, individuals born under the totem of snake are souls compelled toward continual evolution and transformation, driven to discard the past and emerge with the new "flesh" and sight of the dawn now before them.

Yet the process is often a challenging one as in order to step into the brilliant light of self acknowledgment, these individuals must first face, and then release, the painful moments of their past. Many such lessons for birth totem snake, will come in the guise of physical desires as they are very sensual individuals that consciously seek to bond with another on a physical level. These strong urges can be nearly overwhelming at times and may often lead one who has not integrated the physical self to the spiritual, mental and emotional, into painful situations in which they may either unintentionally hurt another, or become hurt themselves.

The reason for this often is because there is a deeper calling that arises from the soul of birth totem snake, the call to spiritual union with another. Yet this call, when one is operating from personality, is heard as a call to join only in physical union. Those times when the snake individual joins with another in an act of physical passion, yet the spiritual union is not achieved, is ultimately left with a sense of dissatisfaction. Whether verbally expressed to their partner or not, this dissatisfaction may ultimately lead to one or both partners becoming disillusioned and wanting "more" from the relationship. When birth totem snake individual can understand the motives of the higher self and can attain true integration between the physical, emotional, spiritual and mental self, then the motive of the higher self for spiritual union will ultimately be attained, both in terms of union with the self, and the union with another.

I am not a great judge of myself but other people are. There are at least two people who read this that know me very well. Perhaps they know me better than I know myself. You know who you are.

Text me and tell me whether you think this is spot on or not. The bullet points really grabbed my attention. You guys would know why.

I think I want to learn more about Native American culture and spirituality. This is all very intriguing to me. Maybe I can find some answers in an unexpected place.

In the mean time I am listening to my new friends, the deer. I am always up for an adventure or journey, whether it is down a new path or a familiar trail.

I hope they come back in the morning. I am beginning to grow fond of them.