Squirrels in her hair and other insanity.

They say that kids say the darndest things and for as cliché as that is, I found it to be true today. The imagination of my six-year-old daughter proves this more true than ever.

I was combing her hair this morning before I took her to school and her hair was terribly tangled. I asked her how her hair got so tangled and her answer left me rolling on the floor.

She told me that squirrels snuck into my house while we were sleeping. They played in her hair she told me. She stated that they used their tiny hands and feet to make her hair crazy.

I asked her if she was sure it was squirrels.

“Yes, daddy, it was squirrels,” she said. “It was not chipmunks. It was squirrels.”

I had no idea how to respond to this. She said all of this with the most serious look on her face. I couldn’t laugh at her. I didn’t want to make it sound like I didn’t believe her, even though I knew this was not true.

I asked her where the squirrels went. She told me they snuck out before we woke up. She said they were nice squirrels. She reiterated that they were squirrels and not chipmunks.

I think the chipmunk thing comes from her watching too much Alvin and the Chipmunks: the Squeakuel.

My daughter’s craziness was just a foreshadowing of the day to come.

My insane work day.

The conversations at work today were insane. Purely insane.

One of the guys went on a tangent about GILFs. I know what you’re asking. What’s a GILF? It is like a MILF only instead of a mom, it is a grandma.

I couldn’t find any fallacy in the logic. The argument was with so many girls having children young that it is possible for a grandma to be in her late 30’s or early 40’s.

Call me shallow, but I can’t get into the grandma fetish. It just isn’t my thing.

We had a serious talk today about testing pepper spray on some of our subordinates.

I asked a friend who works in law enforcement about the hazards of pepper spraying a coworker. After some serious discussion with her we determined that pepper-spraying subordinates might qualify us as shittiest bosses ever.

Besides, how would we get the pink UV dye off of the kids?

I had to drive a Honda minivan today. I felt like I was less of a man just for having driven one. My nightmare got worse. The next car I had to drive was a PT Cruiser.

I was emasculated by fate today. I was scared to death that someone I knew might see me driving said vehicle. How on earth would I explain that one? I am still looking for my balls, in case you were curious.

Still tired.

One day off didn’t make up for it. I am still dragging ass. I fell asleep while writing this Friday night. I had to finish Saturday morning. I will be caught up on sleep soon enough. I get to sleep in on Tuesday.

Technological win.

I finally figured out how to set this blog up to automatically publish a feed to my Twitter account (it too is named IrreverentChad). For me, that is a major technological win. I learn something new everyday.